Hitting the Ground? Hit me with a shovel. Please.

Aaaaaaand, I’m back.  I really am sorry I’ve been MIA.  Life has been getting in the way.  I’m not here to give excuses, but I’m back and ready to hack on the True Blood episodes I love so much.  Where I last left off, I was hating on “It Hurts Me Too.”  That episode sits better with me, but not much.  I loved 9 Crimes and Trouble.  Perhaps that was the problem.  I thought they were great episodes so I had nothing to say.  So far my favourite episodes are “Beautifully Broken,” “9 Crimes” and “Trouble.”  This cannot be said for “I’ve Got A Right to Sing the Blues” and “Hitting the Ground.”  The only redeeming factors in episode 6 is Eric in that blue sweater, Franklin being deliciously insane, Talbot, and of course Lorena.  The rest was absolute shit.  Sookie NOT caring about fucking folder that Bill has been keeping on her?  Yeah, cause that’s normal boyfriend behaviour.  She’s so stupid.  In this week’s episode…ugh.

Before I start, I need to get something off my chest.  And this will be spoilery.  Don’t read if you don’t want to know “what” Sookie is.  In fact, I hate to not have you folks read this, but this whole post might ruin it for you.  You have been warned…  Alan Ball, really?  Really?  That faery shit?  Really?  That was the queerest shit I’ve seen on television and I use to watch Queer as Folk.  The fairies dancing in Babylon were less gay than that shit.  Fuck.  I hated the fae crap in the book since I thought it was lame, but this is taking it over the top.  Phew!  I’m glad I got that out of me.  Ok, on the rest of the episode.

We pick up where we last left off with Lorena feeding on Sook.  Lor gets distracted, AGAIN, and Bill gets the drop on her, AGAIN.  For being an old vamp, Lorena has the attention span of a fly.  Lor realizes it’s fruitless to struggle, tells William that she loves him, Sook stakes her and Lorena Krasiki becomes a blood geyser.  I was tres upset by this.  Lorena is barely in the books and the character Alan Ball created was brilliant.  I was hoping he was going to pull a Lafayette and keep her around but no.  He keeps that stupid Sookie around, but kills the best female character on the show.  Thank goodness for the flashback in next week’s episode.  Hopefully they will pull a Godric and she’ll continue to pop up in future seasons.  Ok, what’s with Sookie getting all the ridicuously lame lines?  “You wouldn’t know love if it kicked you in the FACE!”  Not believable and made me laugh/cringe.  Bill passes out.  End scene.  Alcide and Tara find Sookie sobbing over Bill’s body and she convinces them to help her take Bill out of there.  Debbie busts in on them, with a gun, and my favourite line is uttered, “Vampire burrito?”  I loved that they brought in the dialogue from the books into the show.  The “big green burrito” became “vampire burrito.”  Kudos to the writers.  I really felt for Debbie when she was arguing with Alcide.  He was right in saying that she loved him once.  Immediately after that she starts crying and saying that she would have done anything for him but he wouldn’t give her a baby.  Love can turn people craaazy and it seems that Alcide’s rejection turned Debbie into this V-crazed psycho.  Alcide managed to get the gun from Debbie and the girls get away.  Cooter loses his head (literally) and Debbie threatens Alcide, setting up the showdown between Sook and Debbie.  Oh Deb, you are going to lose that one.  From the promos, it looks like AB is going to follow the books on that one, but I wonder if Eric is going to be involved.

Next we see Sam doing his shifter shit.  I’m sorry, but I really hate his story lines.  Sam (and Sam Trammell) are great but they aren’t giving him (in my opinion) the greatest material to work with.  Last year was so much better even though it dealt with Mary-ann.  Jason’s brooding over Crystal (meth) and Hoyt’s bitten off more biscuits than he can chew with Summer.  Oooh, I cannot wait until there is a Summer/Jessica show down.  Our lil’ baby vamp is going to tell that pushy snot where she can stick her biscuits.  Pushy bitch.

Now comes my favourite scene from this episode.  Eric, looking panty-creaming in that blood splattered blue sweater, Hadley and QSA.  Eric knows something is up with QSA and her desire of Sook and he finally finds out why.  He drags a terrified Hadley I have no clue why she is terrified because if Eric Northman said was going to fuck drain me I’d be tickled pink.  But I guess Hadley does swing the other way to the Queen and feeds on her until she gives up the goods on Sook.  Eric rates Hadley as 3 stars.  Hadley is 3 stars but Sookie delicious.  I know they are only cousins, but interesting, non?  I think there is a big glaring plothole coming up but I’m going to leave it until the hospital scene.  Hadley gives Eric exactly what he wanted to her and he gives her his blood.  Interesting that he did that.  It’s another human tied to him, but seeing as it’s Sook’s cousin, I’m sure there is a reason for it.

Back to more shifter crap.  I don’t like the shifter stuff, but after reading an article on the dog fighting scene, I did appreciate it a bit more.  Here is the article.  It’s enlightening and heartbreaking at the same time.  We are then back to Sookie and Bill in the back to Alcide’s truck.  Brilliant Sookie tries to wake Bill up by feeding him her blood.  K, that was kind of smart of her part but the consequences were not.  As readers of the books will know, Bill loses his mind (after being tortured and starved) and goes to town on Sook.  It doesn’t end so badly in the books, but in this case he’s literally drained her within an inch of her life.  I felt bad for Sookie because the man she loves just about killed her while all she could do was pathetically tap her arm against him.  Tara, sensing something was wrong gets the back opened up and she finds Bill confused and a almost dead Sook.  She throws Bill out of the van and her and Alcide rush to the H.  They leave Bill to burn to a crisp but surprisingly he does nothing more than steam.  I find that a fascinating departure from the books.  What I didn’t find interesting was that after they drive off, Bill just stands there, kicks the dirt and says “damn.”  Buddy, you just literally sucked the life out of your girlfriend, the love of your life.  And all you have to say is damn?  Please.  At the hospital, Sookie is getting worked on and is given a blood transfusion.  The transfusion causes her to seize.  The doctor tells Tara and Alcide that the reason for her seizure was that Sook doesn’t have a blood type…the plot thickens.  Jason shows up to the hospital and he’s got a blood type.  Jason has a blood type, but Sookie doesn’t.  Hadley is 3 stars but Sookie is 5.  Interesting.  Now we have come to the super homo faery scene.  We’ve all seen it so I’m not going to go into too much detail.  The part that interested me was the end when the faeries were running away from the “darkness.”  If you’ve read the books, you get it why they are all running.  They are running from Bill showing up.  If you couldn’t guess from the super gayness of it, all these people are faeries and guess what, so is Sookie!  Vampires are very, VERY attracted to faery blood.  They are drawn to them like moths to a flame.  This is why every supe has asked Sookie, “what are you?”  They can tell since she’s got this other worldliness about her.  Since she’s only like a quarter fae it isn’t apparent, but they can tell she’s different.  And it follows since QSA in season 2 said that Sook wasn’t entirely human.  But I am a  little confused.  Was this a dream or did Sook enter into a higher plane of existence?  I’m thinking higher plane but I could be wrong.  All of this leads me to the plot hole I mentioned above.  Hadley, Sookie and Jason are all blood related.  Hadley is Sook and Jason’s cousin, but a blood relative none the less.  Hadley is 3 stars, but Sookie is fine dining.  Jason has a blood type, but Sookie doesn’t.  Wouldn’t it stand to reason that all 3 would have part of the faery blood?  Would it stand to reason that none of them would have a blood type and both Sook and Hadley would be delicious?  I wonder how they are going to cover that one.  Also, how does Hadley know what Sook is but Sook doesn’t?  Did QSA find out and tell Hadley or did Hadley tell the Queen?  Sets up the rest of the season and the series, non?

Last but not least. Russell, his engaged “puddin” QSA and Eric go back to Fangtasia to rescue Pam and to get the Magister to marry the royals.  Russ wants to marry SA to obtain Louisiana and to consolidate his power.  SA wants her IRS debt paid off.  Aaah, true love.  The Magister has had Pam locked up as a punishment to Eric for the V dealing in his area and Russ comes to save the day by cutting the Magister’s head off.  Another tragic death in True Blood.  Two of my favourite characters gone in one episode!!!  So unfair.

Next Sunday is episode 8, titles “Night on the Sun.”  It looks to be good.  Here is the synopsis: “Shaken and disillusioned, Sookie rethinks her relationship with Bill. Sophie-Anne takes up a new residence as Russell plots his next move. Jessica and Bill reconcile; Jason throws down the gauntlet in hopes of saving Crystal; Lafayette gets a surprise visit from his mom, Ruby Jean; Sam tries to keep Tommy in check; Merlotte’s gets a new waitress; Eric proves the depth of his allegiance to Russell. Sookie finds herself in a vulnerable position when Alcide needs to deal with a family emergency.”

I think that the “graphic scene” that we’ve heard about between Alexander Skarsgard and another male character happens in this episode.  My feeling is that the mystery man is Talbot and I think he’s going to bite it.  The synopsis for episode 9 reads that Russell is grief-stricken…doesn’t sound good for our favourite house boy!

Here is the trailer for Sunday’s episode.

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I’m a Bad Blogger

I have been slacking on my blog and I’m so sorry! Life has gotten in the way as of late. Damn you life!

I’ve watched the last 2 episodes and loved them both. I’m trying like mad to get my posts up for 9 Crimes and Trouble before I go away for the weekend. Franklin is my new favourite…he’s won me over. Crazy mo-fo!

Family wedding this weekend then my aunt’s 50th birthday next weekend. Busy busy but I promise I will be back on form this week.

In the comments, tell me what you thought of the last 2 episodes and what you think is going to happen to our favourite Louisiana citizens! I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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I Knew It!

New photos were released today from upcoming True Blood episodes and one in particular caught my eye.  Ages ago, when the first promos came out I was desperate to figure out how Sookie and Eric would get down this season (we all know it’s going to happen thanks to Club Dead and too many spoilers, trailers, pictures…).  In one of the promos, we have Bill on the phone with Sook telling her that he didn’t want to be found and she was of no consequence to him.  This, to me, and other intelligent folks, had to be part of it.  Obviously.  But I didn’t think it was the only thing that Bill had said to her.  Yeah, she’d be really hurt and very upset with Bill for saying that but she would think that he said it so she wouldn’t get physically hurt.  She’d still come looking for him.  In that phone call, he had to have said something that would drive her in the complete opposite direction and go out and hurt him the same way that he hurt her.  By screwing Eric.

Once I knew that Bill and Lorena did actually get all twisted and horizontal, it was like “BINGO!”  What would piss Sookie off enough to actually attempt to seduce Eric?  Bill getting back Lorena.  How would Sookie find this out?  Either Bill or Lorena would have to tell her and I bet you my case of Tru:Blood that that’s exactly what Bill tells Sookie.  Proof?  This little doozy.

It’s the same image of Bill when he’s talking to Sook and look who’s on the bed.  She’s so not going to want Bill after this.  Poor Sookie is going to have an extremely rough go of it on Sunday.  What are you thoughts?

For more photos, check out them out here.

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Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Independence Day to all my American friends!  Have fun, be safe and enjoy the fireworks!  I might try and convince Michael to go to White Rock with me so we can see the fireworks from Washington State.  Can’t see much from our place.

Don’t forget to tune in to HBO tonight to watch the first 3 episodes of True Blood season 3 back to back to back.  Hopefully we’ll get another look at 9 Crimes!  We need something to tide us over until next week.

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There’s no excuse for domestic violence.

Looks like things are getting heated between Mr. Compton & Ms. Krasiki.  Cannot wait for July 11th.

This comes from www.allstephenmoyer.com

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It Hurts Me Too. Literally.

Ok, so we are 3 episodes in and Alan Ball is 1 for 3.  I was epically disappointed with “It Hurts Me Too.”  I can’t pinpoint the exact reason for my dislike but it just didn’t sit well with me.  Don’t get me wrong, there were good points, but on the whole I was disappointed.  I think part of the problem was I knew what the “twisted” sex scene was I was waiting for it the entire episode.  It was all I cared about and it was very disappointing.  After the bloodly bed sex, I was anticipating some severe Exorcist sex with crab legs, bodily fluids and venom spitting dialogue.  Not that pansy shit where she yells, he shoves, she yells some more, they rip each others clothes off and he twists her head.  We barely got any of the good shit and it was creepy, not hot, with him humping while her head was the other direction.  Woo, you did bad.  No more woo woo for Woo.

The episode starts off with that first clip we saw AGES ago with Eric wrestling the Were on the floor in Sookie’s house.  “WHO SENT YOU?”  You know I so said that out loud when Eric said it.  HA!  Eric takes the bullet to distract the Were, they fight, blah, blah, Sookie hears Jackson and then Eric does his thing and rips the Were’s throat out.  Was it me or was “got your rug all wet” just about the nastiest and hottest thing Eric has said yet on the show.  There must be something wrong with me since 2 of my favourite scenes of Eric are when he had blood running out of his mouth.  He’s all messy and sounds like he’s just had the best sex of his life.  Not to mention that smile he gives Sook.  Hmm…maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me.  Getting Eric all nasty and sounding like he’s satisfied?  I think something would be wrong if I didn’t like that.  Eric’s still rocking that leather jacket and bringing the sexy swagger and the dumb bitch is still being fucking picky.  Really, not much time has passed since he offered up the passionate and primal sex, probably like 10 minutes, but she’s still holding out on him.  I’d be a puddle.  Fucking Sookie is still being a stupid picky bitch.  She only wants Eric on her terms and playing like that around a vampire is never a very smart move.  She’s going to have that proven to her next episode.  Then she’ll be the one who’s left all unsatisfied.

Well, fuck a zombie! Bill actually DID get the drop on Lorena and lit her ass on fire.  That surprised me.  Lorena needs to step it up and be more aware!  That’s twice, that we’ve seen, that Bill has injured her.  Two times too many if you ask me.  Bill’s an extremely ungrateful progeny.  Ok, she did take him from his family, which we got to see, but gave him something really amazing in return.  I’ve never seen such a mopey vampire, EVER!  Even Louis from Interview With a Vampire embraced himself and he was a whiny bitch.  Speaking of Bill’s family, BORING!  Yes, we get that he is pining for his mortal life but we didn’t need like 10 full fucking minutes of it.  Some may have liked seeing Bill’s tormented past but I so could have done without it.  We all knew he was going to take Russell’s offer after Russ made a point of turning Sookie.  He’d do anything to protect that blood bag and if that means leaving her then he will. K, I really don’t believe that last sentence.  I think he does love her but doing anything to protect her?  Doubt it.  What’s going on through Bill’s head?  Does he really think that he will be able to over come Russell, Lorena, Franklin and Talbot to escape back to Sookie?  Idiot.  Lorena will probably have a change of heart and help him get back to Sook but she won’t want him after the big bad.  And after she finds out that he boned Lorena again?  That’s going to go over real well.  And Eric will be there to pick up the pieces.  I can’t wait!  Speaking of Talbot, I LOVE HIM!  He is the best new addition this year and just love that he was more concerned with the tapestry.  So amazing.  He needs his own episode and flashbacks.

Ok, what the fuck was with the Dementor sex between Tara and Franklin?  That was the stupidest sex scene I have ever seen.  This: Looks like this:

Seriously?  Woo you are losing your touch.  That was so unbelievable idiotic and then Franklin utters the amazing line of “you lost yourself to the void.”  OMFG what the fuck was that?????  I just about threw up my Tru:Blood, ran to the TV and kicked it.  You are not endearing me to Franklin the way I want to be endeared.  He does make up for it (a little bit) when he decides to play puppet master with the Dead Trucker’s head.  THAT was brilliant.  He’s so not going to be a good influence on Jessica.  Love it.  He’s so not going to be a good influence on Tara.  Don’t love it.

I’m going to skip past all the parts with Jason, Sam & the Mickens.  Boring, boring, boring.  Just don’t care enough about the Mickens, which is sad because I really like Sam, and Jason was inconsequential.  I did like the fact that Eric shows up in the red convertible but that it’s not a Corvette but a Ferrari California and he gives to Lafayette.  I really like those two together, just don’t ask why I do.  Don’t know.  Why am I happy that he gives the car to Laf?  I don’t see Eric driving such a flamboyant car.  I always thought that a red Corvette was too…pansy for a Viking Vampire.  He needs to drive an Audi R8, Aston Martin DBS, fuck even a Maserati (which I hate).  He needs a cool car and let’s face it a Corvette is not cool.  Ferrari’s are cool, but the California is a chick’s Ferrari and Eric is so not a chick.  I do realize there are cooler cars than a DBS or an R8, but I’m going on what Eric could afford.  He’s rich, but I don’t think he’s Gumpert, Zonda or Veyron rich.  We’re branching into Tony Stark $$$ here and Eric is no Tony Stark.

We finally got to see Alcide in this episode and holy shit Joe is fine.  A total departure from the sexiness of Alex and Stephen, which is a good thing.  He’s sex in such a rugged way it makes me want to go live with him in a log cabin where we have to fuck to keep warm in a bed made of timbers.  We’d wake up in the morning, bone to warm up, he’d go chop wood and kill things to eat, I’d cook said dead things, we’d bone some more since there was no wood to chop, eat, bone again, eat and then bone before going to bed.  *Sigh* That’d be the life.  Alcide doesn’t seem the the sharpest knife in the drawer (he did let Sookie get almost raped) but who needs brains when you look like that.  Now let’s get his shirt off.

I can’t wait for the next episode, which I’m hoping is better.  It better be amazing since we have to wait 2 whole weeks for it rather than just a week.  We get the craziness that is Debbie Pelt, THE phone call (in which I think Bill tells Sook he’s back with Lorena), Sookie trying to bed Eric (after said phone call), Jason being a bad ass, THE MAGISTER (!!!!!!), Pam getting cut open, Sookie in a wig (yawn), Bill wanting to kill Eric and Franklin glamouring Tara.  It HAS to be better!!!  Below is the promo for 9 Crimes.  Squeeeee!

Also, here is the promo for Trouble.  HBO accidently (on purpose?) released this juicy little trailer.

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Beautifully Broken ~ Episode 2

After the epic let down that was the season 3 premiere of True Blood, Alan Ball & Co totally made up for it with last week’s episode.  The first one was so…lackluster.  I know the first episode has to catch everyone up, but for those who have watched every fucking episode about a million times, we just want to get on with it!  But all has been forgiven and we are now so back in the shit!  I love it.

The episode was so much better than the premiere. The best parts were with Bill, Russell & Talbot and with Eric & Sookie. Talbot is the best addition to the show yet. He’s bringing the Galliano vibe so hard it hurts. Homolicious in every way. Did anyone else catch that Russell was not surprised that Cooter (sniggers) and Co drank V but that they drank from Bill? Think he’s running a little V project on the side? Maybe. At the very least he knows that they are V addicts and either provides it to them or procures it for them. It’s obvious that Russell is this person Eric wants revenge on (Operation Werewolf WTF???), but what for? Russ has been around for 3000 years. Bet there is a crap load of shit he’s stirred up. Very interesting the ways they served the blood.  Kind of intrigued by blood gelato and blood champagne.  Yum, yum?

Yes, it was Franklin who was snooping in Bill’s house. The director made it a point to scan down to his shoes while he was in Merlottes. And yes, the BIG BAD is coming out this season. Why else would Bill have all that shit on Sookie in his house. Wasn’t it creepy that he had a photo of her as a child? And now they are boning? Just seems so wrong. Russell doesn’t know yet (that’s why Franklin is snooping) but he knows that Sophie Anne didn’t let Bill go to Bon Temps without a reason. Bill is a terrible liar. He’ll know soon enough and then it’s bye-bye Sophie Anne. She will die this season or at least no longer be Queen. Russell combined with The Magister? Game over Queenie baby.

I don’t think I was the only one who thought Alex/Eric had so much swagger in this episode. He was bringing it in spades. I was ready to jump through the television screen, push Sookie out of the way and have my way with him right there on that porch. Primal, passionate sex? Notice how she never said no? Bitch.  Fucking picky bitch.  Hot 6’5 vampire and a missing boyfriend (NOT fiancee)?  Puh-leeze.  Anyone with a working cooch is going to go for it.  Bill wouldn’t know the difference.  A fang mark is a fang mark, right?  Fucking picky bitch.  The wardrobe department is working overtime in making him look extra smooth. Eric needs to permanently live in that leather jacket. Except for when he’s naked, which should be always.

As for Lorena being lit on fire, I’m guessing Bill’s fantasizing about it. In the time it would have taken Bill to get up, pick up the candle (or whatever it was) and throw it, Lorena would have had his throat. In S02 when they were in the hotel room, Lorena knew before Bill did that he was going to try for the door. Yeah, she was caught off guard with the television but she was very, very distracted.  It isn’t everyday you get to feed on a telepath.  Not going to catch Lorena that distracted often. She’s going to be fine and dandy on Sunday.  Which is something I’m rooting for.  I heart Lorena in such a bad way.  I want her to kill Sookie (ok, not really) and for her to turn Bill into the asshole vamp he should be.  They can murder, pillage and do nasty vampire things that I wish I could do.  Err…I’m not crazy, I swear.

Let’s talk about Sunday & Alexander Woo. Woo woo for WOO! He brought us bloody sex in Hard Hearted Hannah last season and now we are getting more. I keep day dreaming about it and how bad I want to see it. Good grief! “Twisted” sex? Fuggedaboutit! This episode is going to set up so much. Not to mention we get ALCIDE!!!!!!!!! I want to want to love him as much as I do in Club Dead. Then I want to want to hate him as much as I do in all the rest of the books.  Fucking Alcide.  I hate men who are too tied up in their bitches.  Alcide, you need to seriously grow a pair.  Something that I’m waiting for is that phone call Bill makes to Sook.  It’s obvious that Bill telling Sookie not to find him (in Bill’s voice, “Sookie, I do not want to be found) is what drives Sook into Eric’s unwilling arms (he scourns her since he’s not such an asshole).  But what I’m waiting for is WHY Bill doesn’t want to be found.  Is it something that happens next episode? I fucking hope so!  Until Sunday and the twisted sex.

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